Mad props to the ladies

On this MLK Day, since there are literally no racial minorities people in my town (and barely any in the country in general), I began to reflect on “we shall overcome” as it exists in Ukraine. That, to me, is more in terms of women vs. men. As some of you know, I’ve decided to take up boxing. This is basically because it’s frigid here, and sometimes I get bored of bouncing on my trampoline. So, I thought, what the hell. Ukraine loves its boxing, and apparently there’s a very famous boxer from here, and I’m not planning on actually fighting anyone- I just want to go through the exercises. So, Luba, my counterpart, knows this guy who goes boxing every night. Last Thursday I tagged along. I swear, I don’t think any chick had ever set foot in the place. It was clearly a boy’s dorm, complete with homemade boxing ring with wood board floors and mats on the corners secured with duct tape. The first question I had to ask, because my bladder hates me, was, “where’s the bathroom”. The response- “oh, we don’t have one. We just go outside”. So of course I held it. All the boys were giving me seriously funny looks and were extremely surprised when I could keep up with every single exercise. I must say, I wasn’t bad for the first time ever boxing. But during paring exercises, no one wanted to pair with me, so Dima, the guy I went with, paired with me. For the rest of the class, I was getting very angry looks from everyone, as if they were saying in their minds, “what the hell is this chick doing in our boy space?” Of course, this made me more motivated (I totally felt like Demi Moore in GI Jane, sans super ripped muscles), and now I want to go as much as possible, not because I totally enjoy boxing, but because these boys are in need of a serious attitude adjustment.

Which leads me to my next point. I noticed during the first couple months here the substantial difference in gender roles between men and women. When sitting at a table where a man is present, he is cultural required to open and pour all drinks, while women are expected to sit and wait for their glass to be filled. Men are expected to shovel in the winter and do all other household maintenance work, while women are expected to do all the cleaning, sewing, home economics, and cooking. I noticed this from the beginning, when people would constantly ask if I felt safe living by myself, and if I was married (and then looked at me weird when I said no, and no, I don’t have a boyfriend either, and no I’m not looking for one). But it wasn’t until I went to boxing that it really hit me just how deep these roles go. Women work, but only because they have to for money’s sake. If money were no object, they would be expected to stay at home and take care of the children, or at least work part time and be home and have dinner prepared for the guys when they get home. Generally, both parents in a household work full time. So why is it that the girls are always the ones that come home and cook and clean, while literally (and I’ve experienced this as a guest) the guys sit around the table and entertain, or watch TV? This wouldn’t bother me so much if it didn’t infiltrate every aspect of life here, but since I live here, I’m expected to adapt to these cultural norms, which I just cannot for the life of me do. I’m sorry, but in the summer, when it’s hot, and I don’t like to wear dresses and high heels, I’m going to wear shorts. That’s just how it is. I think what it all comes down to, and I experienced this fully for the first time on Thursday night, is that no matter how bossy and “head of householdish” the old grandmothers are, the younger generation of women are just assumed to be inferior, and at times non-existant in the eyes of men. Unless there’s something they want from you, such as sex, food, booze, etc., they don’t see you as equal to them. I feel like I should try to find a Russian version of the “Feminine Mystique” and hand them out on street corners. It’s like I’m seeing the world as if it existed had the feminist revolution of the 60’s and 70’s never happened. It struck me that this is what my life would be had my mother and her generation not stood up and said, “enough of this”.

I guess the whole point of this babbling blog is, thank you. Thank you ladies, for crashing head first through that barrier, and allowing me to be raised in a society where I can be and do whatever I want, with opportunities be the best I could be, and be happy doing it. I feel like I can, at least on some level (because I get to get out of this environment at the end of 2 years), I’m getting a very real taste of everything you went through, and have super super mad respect!

Back from the 'Dam!

Well, after a nice long week of vacationing in Western Europe, I'm back in Ukraine. And strangly enough, it kinda feels good to be back!

Amsterdam was awesome. That town is pretty friggin' cool, coffee shops aside. Of course we indulged in the coffee shops and ate a bunch of brownies, but the more exciting part was having Asian and Mexican food (even though they weren't great, they were amazing to us!!!). WE spent New Years at this little party, which kinda reminded me of an 8th grade dance, which really bad Eurotrash music. BUt it was fun to hang out with my friends. And at the stroke of midnight, everyone in the city started setting off fireworks right in the middle of the street!! I swear, I almost got hit by one and kept hiding behind my friend Megan. I think Rachel took pictures of that. It was ridiculous! I've never seen so many fireworks in my life!!!

The last day in Amsterdam, I had a "Jessie date day" and explored the entire city, since we really hadn't done that yet. I went all around the Red Light District, and found this Tibetian store, which I proceeded to spend all the rest of my money of fun little trinkets. I also found the Sex Museum and decided to splurge on that. And thought I couldn't get into the Anne Frank House, I walked by. . . . I figured that was enough for this visit. That house isn't going anywhere.

Elizabeth, Rachel and I also had to figure out how we were getting back to Ukraine, so we went ot the train station and bought tickets to Prague, where we could then buy tickets to Krakow (or, in my case, Kiev). So we got to spend a day in Prague, roaming and exploring my old stomping ground. And surprisingly enough, I remembered everything about that city and how to get everywhere, including the bagel place, which made us all SO happy!!! After a day of Prague, buying hot wine and fun little goodies, and going to Tesco, which, by the way, is the best supermarket in the entire world (I kid you not), we were off to the train station once again, and we were off. The train we were all on stopped in Krakow and then continued to Kiev. But because I was going straight to Kiev, I was in a seperate car than my buddies, and I swear, as soon as I stepped onto the car, it was like I was walking into Little Ukraine. everyone was speaking Russian and they were all Ukrainian. Hell, even the rain car was a Ukrainian train car!! And, of course, the train moved as sow as Ukrainian trains. I spent about 32 hours in transit from Prague to Kiev. About 6 of those hours were waiting in Krakow for something or another, and another 3 were spent at the border of Poland and Ukraine. Thank god this train car had a toilet that actually flushed though! Usually the toilets just dump onto the tracks, which means in big cities you can't use the bathroom because they close them! I thank my lucky stars that this wasn't the case.

So, now I'm in Chirnigiv with my host family for Ukrainian Christmas. It's like coming home from college all over again. I love it! Apparently my family was invited over for dinner at my next door neighbors house tonight, and I'm tagging along. I asked galya if it was okay, and she said, "well, I said we'd all go. . . I just didn't say how many people was 'all'". So, I guess it's okay? She looks great, by the way. I think she's about 7 months pregnant and glowing! I can't wait to have a little host baby brother! (It's a boy). I hope they name it Jesse. Or Jessovich. Or something like that.

I hope everyone had a great New Years!!! Go 2010!